Category Archives: Uncategorized

I’ve been cleaning up my computer today. Re-organizing, deleting, back-uping. I found a document named Quotes. In it, I found this: Children, you must understand, are monsters. They are ravenous, ravening, they lope over the countryside with slavering mouths, seeking love to devour. Even when they find it, even if they roll about in itContinue reading “cleanup”

SRC party at a bar on a Thursday night. Dancing with resilience researchers. Sleepy ride home on the last train for the night. Imagine, there are drunk girls on the tube on Thursday nights too. Someone has smoked weed on the Skarpnäck tube station. It is possible that the guy that was sitting opposite fromContinue reading “report from the last tube”

I started reading Bodil Malmsten again, and suddenly I got this urge to write stuff. On my small laptop, that I generally don’t have internet connection on. So, that’s why they’ve been uploaded after the fact, the posts, all in a bunch. Otherwise, November has been an exhausting month. I had julmust. I just couldn’tContinue reading “November”

Maybe it’s November. I’m feeling very unforgiving, not ready to compromise, difficult. I feel: certain things in life are serious, you should choose your seriousnesses well and take responsibility for your choice. Both the one you made and all the ones you didn’t. Not behave as if it doesn’t matter. Because it does. Life matters.Continue reading “act as if it matters (November 26)”

Some time ago, my mom said I should start writing the blog in Swedish again. Not that she has any kind of emotional relationship to Swedish, if anything, she should tell me to write in Finnish. But, I think what she meant was, I should return to the language I know best. Where the shadesContinue reading “the freedom of a third language (November 26)”

I found a document in a folder named blogg 2, containing the following short piece of writing: This afternoon: The sun has not been seen all day, but now it is turning the roof of the Stockholm University main library golden. I have problems concentrating, possibly due to lack of sleep, and I would likeContinue reading “forgotten posts (November 25)”

I have had three cups of coffee today and my heart might actually be beating irregularily. When a young horse gets saddled for the first time, you never quite know how it will react. One might just smell the saddle and then calmly let you tighten the girth, barely moving its ears. Another might standContinue reading “sleepdeprived horselongings (November 25)”

Sunday noon walk in nearby nature reserve, the sun barely makes it up above the treelined horizon. My phone doesn’t capture shades very well, light becomes bleached and that’s what I have to live with, now that I’ve become too lazy to carry my SLR around. Anyway, what the phone can’t really capture is theContinue reading “spruce (November 24)”

And Bodil Malmsten writes (in De från norr kommande leoparderna): You cannot come back to what you’ve never left behind, you are what you are and you carry your house around whereever you go, your shell of light and music. What is it that I have not left behind? But, more importantly, what have I?Continue reading “gaze II (November 22)”

I’ve been thinking about time. And places left behind. People. I looked up plane tickets to San Francisco today, what if I went there in the summer. Back to the farm in Sonoma, to pick blueberries and spend my afternoons reading Russian classics by the pond. There was a young man, beautiful, he tried toContinue reading “gaze I (November 22)”