While in Saint Petersburg, Mr. P made friends with a family of babushka’s. It feels like such a remote thing in time, something that happened in another stage of life, our visit to Saint Petersburg – but I found this picture among the edited-but-not-uploaded photos and it was such a pretty one. They really match, Mr. P and the babushka family.
And he liked the style and decadence in Saint Petersburg too. Truly a Mr. P kind of place.
I had a graduation party of sorts yesterday. Late, granted, but there was just so much going on around the time when I actually did graduate, so we couldn’t fit it in until now. And this is probably going to be the most boring post I’ve written, or at least among them, because here I sit and am just So Happy.
Happiness is not an interesting subject to read about, because there is no friction. It just is. And it’s rare that anyone would want to write about it too, because of that frictionlessness. It just is. No need to analyze.
But let me just tell you this: I am one lucky bastard. (Literally, my parents weren’t married when I was born.) Walking around among the talking, laughing people yesterday, I thought: These are my people. There’s so much life lived here, and I can’t even begin to count all the ways in which I’m all intertwined with them. Some want no strings attached, crave freedom, but I can’t imagine a life without these people tying me to Earth. I want to bake strawberry cakes and make strawberry daiquiris for them forever.
Elin (with Christian and their daughter Ruth) gave me a necklace with a small piece of map showing Walvis Bay, Namibia, where she and I did fieldwork together in 2010. Natalia and her mom gave me the most beautiful glass cake plate. Kirke was there with Zorro, and Cecilia and Isak with Embla. Hannes. Emilie, Marita and Frida. Vivi and Carmen, Josh and Anders. Helene, Morena, Vadim and firecracker Jakob. Aunt Sinikka and cousin Lisa Marcela with her family. Mom. Childhood, primary school, Tanzania, high school, Bolivia, bachelor’s and master’s level studies, all represented. My people. It was amazing.
(Of course, some people were missing. Vacation times and all. I haven’t forgotten you! You know who you are!)
So now, the day after, I’m content with being content, and finishing Ashley’s sweater.
I had this idea. A new focus for the blog. But I need to do some more thinking.
In the meantime, I’ve knitted today. I’m making a sweater for Ashley. I’m more than halfway done. I started working on it a week ago. I really do have a manic tendency. Just last Friday, I started talking with a friend of a friend (and now new colleague, I guess) about my knitting and she said that I could make a living out of it. You know, sell my stuff on Etsy.
And then, at Carmen’s and Lara’s birthday picnic on Wednesday, when asked what I do when I don’t do research, I felt compelled to say that I knit. Because what else do I do? I used to care for horses, but not anymore. I used to sing in a choir, but not anymore. I used to attend creative writing class, but now I haven’t really written prose for years. I used to be the member of a number of councils and advisory boards, but not anymore. I even taught Swedish for immigrants through the Red Cross for a while, but felt I had to take a break with that when thesis writing became too overwhelming. So what do I do? I exercise. I bake. I watch TV shows. And I knit.
My point isn’t that I should turn my knitting into a business, now that it’s the only thing I do anyway. No, I still feel it would be wrong to ask for money for the things that I make. But maybe this idea of mine could be my new thing? A new project, now that the master’s degree is in the bag. I can feel the potential. We’ll see.
It’s been a while. I’ve been busy. I won’t tell you everything, but here is a brief outline.
I managed to turn in my master’s thesis, almost exactly one month ago. I presented and graduated, and now I have a master’s degree in sustainability science.
But no time to rest. I presented in the morning. After lunch, we had the first official team meeting for the research project that I’m going to be the research assistant in for at least the coming six months. A couple of days later, I left for a two week sejour in Burkina Faso and Ghana, where I attended meetings, a workshop and a couple of field visits, all connected to the research project.
I celebrated midsummer in Leksand together with the class.
And now, I’m working. Biking about an hour to work every day. The center is basically empty. I eat ice cream and strawberries. Yesterday, Roweena moved back to England. A new phase of my life has just started.
I do have some stories and photographs to share, though. They’ll pop up here when I have the time. For now, laundry.
The rain is pouring down, and I feel like I’ve finally stopped running. I am here now, ready to start something new.
Skarpnäck is so beautiful this time of year. Especially when it’s raining. The colors become so rich. The air full of smells.
Sleep can be hard to come by sometimes. When Discussions haven’t been written and the pressure of it all causes emotional hypersensitivity. Insomnia makes me claustrophobic.
I watch Becoming Jane, a costume drama about Jane Austen before she became the author Jane Austen. And I think: She created some of the most exquisitely written novels in the English language, but to her contemporaries she must have been seen as a failure. A woman of her class had to become a wife and a mother. Anything else was an embarrassment. But she rejected that, to be able to let her writing grow.
It’s easy to loose perspective. There are so many ways to look upon a life. A comforting thought. Suddenly sleep doesn’t seem that far away, after all.
And I forgot to tell you. I have a new love.
The week after returning from Russia, I went to a concert with dad. I had not slept properly for more than a week, and the day had been long and filled with computers acting up, so I was exhausted. But as soon as the three sisters who make up the Staves entered the stage, all that just drained out of my body.
So beautiful it hurt.
The way they created harmonies with their voices. Vulnerable, sincere, honest.
And also: the most erotic thing, a woman playing the electric guitar on stage.
Words. Cause I’m tethered to you now.
That is true love.
And suddenly everything is in flower. While I was busy working, spring unfolded. The wood anemones in the oak grove by Kräftriket.
The plum and cherry trees all over Skarpnäck. You know, that sweet, faint smell that you have to really focus on to sense. Mingled with heat leaving the earth after a full day of sunshine.
That.
Now, it’s already been three weeks since we were in Saint Petersburg, but let me just conclude this belated report with some final remarks.
The best thing about Saint Petersburg was that I was there with Kirke and Hanna. Hanna and I started first grade together. Kirke joined for second grade. That makes almost 20 and 19 years of friendship. We’ve been to many places together, ski resorts, viking islands, Greece, music festivals, Belgrade. And now Russia.
Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s not all pink clouds and rainbows. Having known each other for so long, the fuse has shrunk when it comes to certain issues, compared to how sensitive we would be with other people. We fight a lot. But all that time also makes it so much easier to see behind the fight. What is real, and what is just blowing off steam. Letting go. Being around these two, I can be my grumpy, eccentric, controlling self and they will tell me when I’m being an ass, but still love me anyway. Safety. That is what it is.
We ate so much. It is insane. Two Georgian three course meals, one lunch of blinis and soup, and one Russian dinner with vodka on the side. It’s amazing, eating food. With hilarious meal companions, who all know how to enjoy the good things in life. I foresee three old fat ladies waddling around the food capitals of the world, laughing on their way from restaurant to restaurant. Bright future.
The last evening, we tried to find an Azerbaijani restaurant, but it seemed to have disappeared and we ended up at this hip, but quite empty bar with the loveliest bartender. He did not speak English very well, but he tried and brought out his tablet with Google translate when our shared vocabulary wasn’t enough, Kirke joked and he joked and we ended up with lingonberry cocktails, home-brewed lager, a pizza and pasta. A very haphazard, but cozy finish to our decadent visit to Saint Petersburg.
Somewhere in the middle of Nevsky Prospekt lies Jelisjevs, an exclusive delicacy store housed in this lavishly decorated yearly 20th century modern building.
Maybe that was my favorite place in Saint Petersburg. Just so way over the top it was crazy.
Selling all different kinds of delicacies, displayed in such an exquisite manner. I doubt this confectionery was particularly tasty, though. Sugar and color.
They also had a cafe in the middle of the store. After hours of walking around town, we decided to sit down. Celebrate a little. Order in some fine vodka. Pretend we were Russian for a moment.
And then we had some Russian sparkling wine, to celebrate my new job. Russian alcohol is quite potent. We ended up having plenty of giggles under the giant pineapple. A nice last afternoon in Saint Petersburg.
Katja Malmborg