In highschool, I was the ultimate music nerd. I read magazines and blogs, searched the internet, used several of those create-my-own-radio-station-sites that were popular before Spotify came and wiped out all the competition. I borrowed CDs from the library, especially the mixes in the series Sonically Speaking, that came with every number of a Swedish music magazine. The feeling when I discovered a new band, especially if it was one that non of my friends knew about, was so great. I felt like an eighteen century explorer in the middle of the Amazon.
And I made mix CDs. I would hear a song, it would make me think of someone and suddenly I was composing a mix around that, with songs for that special someone. I put a lot of thought into those mixes, both the songs and the order of the songs. The lyrics of a song shouldn’t contradict the lyrics of the next, and the end of a song had to sound good when switched over into the intro of the next. I made it into a science. And the covers too, small pieces of art. I really spent a lot of time on my mix CDs.
In the end, I don’t know if all the people I gave or sent the mixes to ever listened to them. But Natalia always used to put one of my CDs on when I came to visit, some of best memories I have from Kirke’s apartment are accompanied by the mixtapes I gave her, and I’m so proud of having introduced Moto Boy to Sofie. Later, we even went to his concert together.
But then university happened and I slowly stopped doing things that I’d previously loved. Like the music. I just didn’t have the time. And energy. Being a music nerd is time consuming and exhausting. In the last two or so years, I haven’t discovered one single great new band. I think. I have only listened to my old stuff. Or the new stuff by my old favourites. Or the Swedish Public Radio.
Staying with Miles, though, inspired me. Not only was his studio apartment full of cool paintings and old cameras and other intriguing stuff, but his CD collection was huge. Really, immense. And talking with him about music, all the Swedish bands that he likes and realising how much we have in common (he just knew so much more), made me feel that I have to start nerding again. Because, there are few things that can beat good music. Hearing a really good song for the first time is like meeting god. I need that in my life, I can’t be all about science (even though geography might just be the love of my life).
And then, one night, Miles invited me to a concert with his band. It was at this small bar in Fremont, just opened and kind of deserted – but it didn’t matter. They were great anyway. The Torn ACLs. Later, Miles gave me two of their albums, and I made Hanna listen to them over and over, all through Oregon and California. They became the soundtrack of our roadtrip, together with “San Francisco” with Hello Saferide, of course.

Seeing The Torn ACLs play, didn’t only give me a new great band to listen to, but also reminded me about how fun it is to not only listen to music, but create it too. Singing has become a need for me. I don’t think I can stay healthy without it. I tried last fall, but there was just something missing. I’ve got to find a choir when I come back home. Or convince some of my musically talanted friends that I’m a good enough singer to help with the chorus and tamburine sometimes. Every band needs a girl in a cute dress playing the tamburine, that’s a universally acknowledged truth. And I sure do have many cute dresses.
I have many things to thank Miles for. But I think that this awakening is the most important. This my second musical dawn. My musical renaissance.