to tame a goshawk

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A while back, I read ”H is for Hawk” by Helen Macdonald. It is a memoir of her grief following the unexpected death of her father. How she started training a goshawk and it almost made her lose herself, into the bird, the grief – but then, also, guided her out of it. It is an interesting book, painful, well worth the read.

And she isn’t oblivious to the strangeness in training a wild bird of prey. That this centuries old practice is problematic. But also, she writes: When do we meet wild animals on their own terms? In the lives most of us live today. Really get to know them? We see nature documentaries where the animals are curated, there to play a part in our idea about the wilderness. Rarely do they get to define how we see them. She writes: A hawk cannot be tamed, it will accept to be fed and come back for that comfort, or fly away. It will not be curated.

I meet roe deer almost daily on my runs in the nature reserve. They are not shy, can stand meters from me, staring. The hares cross the path in a panic. Last summer I saw a badger, just a couple hundred meters from my house. A squirrel frequents the pine tree by my balcony. Foxes hang out by the allotment gardens. So many birds outside my kitchen window.

I do meet wild animals. But only those that have adapted to living next to humans. And only for brief moments. I have known domesticated animals, though. Dogs and cats, obviously – but also animals of prey, which creates a completely different dynamic in the relationship. Horses, of course, but also chickens, sheep, goats, donkeys. It might sound strange, but many things I’ve realized about being human, I’ve learned from observing and interacting with other species.

It is interesting. How insight can lie in the contrast. I think Helen Macdonald felt the same about the goshawk.

Photo: Photo: Cambridge University Botanic Garden, England, June 2013. Cambridge is where Macdonald lived when training the goshawk – maybe the bird even flew over the garden at some point? Posted on Instagram March 12, 2021.