I’ve been running late more and more lately. It’s as if time has lost its texture, I can’t hold on to it. The limits that time puts on our lives seem to have become blurry, and I keep on getting lost in my own actions. And that is fine, as long as work is what I need to do. Being completely submerged in calculating a Tasseled Cap Transformation is okay on a day when I only need to remember to eat (which, to be honest, I don’t always manage to do either). But life isn’t only working, locked up in my lonely chamber. There are meetings, both of a professional and social nature, there are events and also the ordinary but necessary activities of buying groceries, going to the gym and doing laundry.
I know I need to do these things. I make lists, plan. And still. I get lost in tasks and time constantly seems to run away from me.
And I wonder: Is this an age thing? Will this only get worse? Am I getting older and more eccentric? Unconventional understandings of time are not unheard of in my family, especially on my mother’s side. Maybe age is just bringing out the dormant Ruohomäki in me. Maybe this is just one of all those pieces of my individuality. Or am I just lazy?
Katja Malmborg 