cures

I’ve been in the weirdest mood today. I haven’t been able to concentrate – instead, I’ve been sitting outside in the sunshine, staring out into space. I sat with Dries for a while under some cherry trees, and he even commented on it, “Katja, you’re so deep in thought”. The thing is, I don’t remember what I was thinking about. I just wasn’t present.

I’ve been having the feeling that I wanted to cry all day. I guess I know why, but it isn’t at all a dignified reason and I should not be walking around feeling weepy like this. But I am, anyway.

It got worse once I got home to the empty apartment. Lina wasn’t home, and I was supposed to start cooking, but the only thing I could manage was not to curl up in a ball on the floor. But then Roweena came and I started cooking nettle soup and risotto for her while she played Einaudi on my piano.

Something let go for a while. Cleaning nettle leaves and listening to the music forming out in the living room. Things can be simple. Music and food. A cure for weepiness.