The Friday before Christmas, I went to a Christmas party hosted by a group of geology and geography students. There was gifts and a Christmas tree, dancing around the said tree and Christmas candy. I danced on the dance floor when no one was dancing yet, as is my wont, and played pool (won two games and lost one, I blame my team mates in the first case and the other team in the other).
It is weird how different constellations of people create different atmospheres at a party. This Christmas party was very nice and all, but not at all with the same kind of spark as the parties that my high school friends usually host. It was very different, and I don’t know how good I was at fitting in. But Lina was there, which was good.
When we left, sitting at the bus stop, Lina was verbally harassed by a guy in a car for telling him that we didn’t need a ride, thank you very much, and would he leave. It still puzzles me, these men, and how they reason. What kind of sick inclination is it that makes a middle-aged man insult one young woman while still trying to hit on her friend? In what head is that an equation that makes sense?
Anyway. Lina is awesome. On Sunday before Christmas, she left for Kungsör, where her parents live, and now I’ve been all alone in the apartment for almost an entire week. And, as if that wasn’t enough, I haven’t seen anyone else either. Except for spending Christmas Eve with one of my aunts, a cousin and a second cousin, and having been to see my dad, stepmom and brother a couple of times, I’ve barely even spoken to anyone on the phone. I really don’t know how healthy this is. Maybe I should have forced myself to meet up with some friends. I could easily have called someone, and I was even invited to play table tennis and eat pizza via text once, but I just didn’t know if I would be able to handle behaving.
So, I decided: I’m on a social cleanse. The day before yesterday was kind of a low point, but today has been great, I’m actually starting to get done with things and soon, I think I’ll be ready for the world again. On Monday, I’ve promised to get a beer with some old geography friends. That’s when I’ll break my social fast. Almost two days left of self-sustained entertainment. That feels good. It really does.
I’ve even had time to do some weird table arrangements: an ostrich egg I found while cleaning in grandpa’s house, some of the Christmas toffees that I’ve cooked, cut and wrapped, and Lina’s hyacinth, on top of a table cloth that I also found at grandpa’s.
Katja Malmborg 