capability

Later, in Spill:

It is sad to live, one acts capable and isn’t. On the other side of the violet clouds there isn’t anything. Why these thoughts?

I have them too, sometimes. Most people seem to find me capable and well organized. And I like that, even though there is a little itch. Most of the time, I feel like a mess, barely keeping up. Especially lately. It’s not generally a problem, I don’t mind, it’s just. Sometimes. It would be nice to know what I’m doing.