being loved

I’m still reading Spill by Sigrid Combüchen, she writes (in my rather inadequate translation):

To illustrate how hard it is to be completely true toward oneself (to look oneself in the mirror without piling together the features that belong to the person one knows and recognizes), I read through a couple of self-interviews on the web. Why publish such things? To give justice to oneself, or to love oneself like other people don’t understand to love the one you want to be loved as. Maybe.

Isn’t that what all this blogging is about too? Creating this image of oneself, the person I feel I am, but that others might not always see. Sometimes it scares me, this need I feel to correct people, tell them : ”Hey, just so you know, this is not who I am, not all of it, just a little part, there is so much more”. But of course, it’s the same with everyone and always having to explain myself is probably not a very sympathetic feature. As if I can control what people think about me. I should just let them decide for themselves.

At least I haven’t forced anyone to read this.