I went to aerobics class tonight. While buying the membership card, I realised I haven’t been to an aerobics class since January 2012. I’ve been traveling, and I tried running for a while, and then came that terrible thesis that completely pulled me apart.
But now I was back there, jumping around with all the middle-aged women. Sweaty and exhausted, breathing heavily. And still, I rarely feel as sexy as when I’m doing aerobics. It’s the hormones, I guess, physical activity and the happy chemicals in the brain. I feel strong and even though I’m in no way a musical genius, I do have the ability to move to the beat of the generic pop music (which is more than can be said to quite a few of the other exercisers). In that crowd, with the blood rushing in my ears, I feel beautiful.
Unfortunately, the few men at the class were just as middle-aged and out of shape as the women. The only bad thing about going to a gym in Skarpnäck. No-one to pull me down from this illusion of my own irresistibility.
Afterwards, I baked a chocolate cake for the master’s program potluck tomorrow, and left far too much batter unbaked to have as dessert. I feel heavy and drowsy. Totally worth it, though. Totally worth it.
Katja Malmborg 